The opening of Lindsay Lohan's new Netflix Christmas movie will have you questioning your sanity

One might assume that Netflix’s craziest Christmas movie of 2024 is the one in which a widow creates a fuckable snowman. But the holiday baton was passed this week to the streaming service’s latest seasonal offering: Our little secret starring Lindsay Lohan.

In the film, Lohan pretends not to know her ex-boyfriend, who is dating her current boyfriend’s sister while they all spend the holidays together. While there are no jacked snowmen, there is a scene where Lohan drinks a bunch of weed gummies before going to church with her boyfriend’s parents.

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Which, come to think of it, was already a scene in the Seth Rogen movie The night before.

Obviously people watch these films Because they are crazy. For example, Lohan’s previous Christmas project, Falling in love with Christmasfound her fell off a cliff and suffered a serious head injury Minutes into the film. But the strangest thing about it Our little secret, by far is the opening credits.

After the couple’s split in 2014, the film looks back to the present – but the gap is filled by the credits sequence, which recaps some of the most important events of the last decade. And as one viral social media post pointed out, it’s complete nonsense.

The end credits touch on some important events (the legalization of gay marriage in the US, the landing of the Perseverance rover on Mars) and some memorable viral social media moments (Moonlight hit La-La Land at the Oscars, the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge), but there are also some truly breathtaking entries. We don’t get one, but twoKudos to Elon Musk for introducing the Cybertruck and replacing “Twitter” with “X”. The latter is represented by a graphic of the X logo triumphantly smashing the Twitter bird logo, which seems like a strange way to imagine someone reducing the value of a company by 80 percent.

The montage’s omissions are even more glaring; COVID isn’t even briefly mentioned? No US presidential election either, except for the brief moment involving Bernie Sanders’ adorable mittens. On the other hand, the film conveniently acknowledged the cultural contributions of not one, not two, but three Netflix series: Stranger Things, Bridgerton And Squid game.

They also mentioned how NFTs are “taking over the art world” and called the launch of the Beyond Meat burgers a significant moment that deserves recognition, which really makes one wonder how many of these historic milestones were paid for. And as one person pointed outAs the calendar hits 2023, the last event we see is Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour, paired with a photo of Swift that is clearly at least 10 years old.

We don’t strive for historical accuracy when it comes to Lindsay Lohan’s romantic comedies, but this is just insane.

The opening of Lindsay Lohan’s new Netflix Christmas movie will have you questioning your sanity

ByAmelia Journalton

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By Amelia Journalton

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