How to (politely) get your guests to leave the party

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To throw the perfect party you only need one thing: boundaries. If you can’t make it yourself, it’s also store-bought.

Let’s say you’re hosting a dinner and it’s nearing the end of the night. The food has been eaten, the drinks have been drunk, and now you’re staring at the clock and stifling a yawn. Suddenly there is a terrible noise: a guest has just opened a new beer. Then your chatty cousin starts his tirade about blockchain, and the plus one person who has already left asks who wants to play Cards against humanity. (Don’t worry, they brought their own patio!) What’s a hospitable host to do? Fake a fire? Play dead? Is there proper party etiquette to get your guests to just leave?

Remember the boundaries we set before? This is the perfect time to serve them. As the host of the party, you set the rules (e.g. take off shoes, don’t touch music, bedtime is 11:30 p.m.). However, if you need help figuring out ways to get your guests to leave, here are some tips.

In an old episode of Rachael Ray On the show, Thomas P. Farley, aka Mister Manners, gave this clear recommendation: Make sure your invitations include a start and end time. Although I have my doubts about anyone whose job includes the title “Mr.,” this is the easiest way to tell guests when to leave. You are not obliged to say that the party is from “6 p.m. to ???”. if you want people to leave your house by 10 p.m

For a more passive-aggressive approach, send a message with your decorations. Hang this “Please leave by 9” banner or serve snacks on a charcuterie board that says, “By the time you read this, the snacks are gone and it’s time to go home.”

Maybe you’ve set an end time, but the party doesn’t seem to be letting up. Make a final call for drinks and food 15 minutes before people are due to leave. It’s a gentle nudge to end the evening without pushing the guests out.

If you’re looking for best practices, one TikTok recommends moving the conversation to the next day (e.g., “What do you have planned for tomorrow? Wow, sounds busy! You should probably get some rest.”). Another TikTok suggests asking someone the time and mentioning what time it is. WitchTok insists that placing the broom bristle side up will cause guests to leave, although it’s unclear whether you need to do this in front of them or in secret. For another TikTok-recommended technique that may not work but won’t hurt, try this Midwest classic: slap your thighs, sigh loudly, and say “Welp.”

In a Washington post In her column, Miss Manners (née Judith Martin) wrote: “Under no circumstances should hosts cite their own need to vacate the house.” But even Miss Manners has her limits. If partygoers linger too long, she recommends saying, “We were so happy to see you, but I know you must be tired” and getting up. She insists that the key is to stand until the other person stands up, and then you can walk them to the door. Is it subtle? No, but it’s more effective than her original suggestion of saying nothing at all.

You could also start cleaning up. A party host picking up empty cups is the universal sign of “please leave.” Walking around with a big trash bag and still not moving? Ask for help cleaning up. The guests will see each other again in a hurry.

A friend of mine likes to use the phrase, “I’m turning into a pumpkin again” when she’s ready to give takeout guests. It doesn’t make complete logical sense – Cinderella didn’t turn into a pumpkin and my boyfriend isn’t a horse-drawn carriage. In a way, you are signaling that the evening is over And Give your guests a little puzzle as a gift.

If you want to forego subtlety altogether, you can turn to hosting extraordinaire Martha Stewart. Her method of getting guests to leave is perhaps my favorite: “Honestly, I just say, ‘I’m going to bed.'”