Opinion | Alzheimer’s can be a world of endless second chances

Every week I visit my father, who suffers from Alzheimer’s and lives alone. When I tell people this, they ask, “Is this safe?”

“Probably not,” I say and think: Is that life?

“He doesn’t want to leave his house,” I explain. “We’re trying to help him stay there as long as possible.” They’ll say, “I’m sorry.” I’ll say, “Thank you.” But here’s the truth: I’m enjoying Dad’s Alzheimer’s.

This was not always the case. When he first started showing symptoms, before my mother died, it was obviously hard. He was very angry at his computer, at his telemarketers, at himself, and at me because we were both taking care of Mom, and there were days when they both resented my help.

I don’t take treating a terrible illness lightly, and I understand that my father’s symptoms can change at any time. But here’s what I like about Alzheimer’s right now:

A) He forgot that he used to be mad at me, and now he likes me a lot because I can find things like keys, bank statements, glasses, and the bow saw that he left out in the woods.

B) Although he remembers that I wrote books, he does not remember that he was not particularly interested in them. Every time I remind him, he’s also happily surprised that I taught at the university and that I lead a writing workshop at the library.

This all feels pretty good.

C) He repeats stories, but I get to it on the other side tell He tells stories over and over again, appreciating them each time as if they were brand new. For someone like me who loves storytelling, this is heaven! It’s also a great way to work on pacing and comedic timing.