Donald Trump promises to end bright paper straws and will save America

Guys, our nightmare will come to an end soon. Forget to save women’s sports. Forget dei. Forget to cante the unbearable deep state government from top to bottom.

Of course, all noble problems and all of Donald Trump treated in the first two weeks. Bravo, Mr. President. But none of this comes close to the next point on his agenda.

The terrible, useless, wakes up, beyond, unbearable Paper straw -era Is just before the finish line. That’s correct.

As I said, our long, national nightmare is over.

Plastic is back, baby! Go on a shoot, sea turtles!

Let’s get it, Mr. President!

“Back to plastic!” Amen, Trump! Tell it again for the wokes in your back, which you didn’t hear the first time.

Thank God. To be honest, put Trump on the Mount Rushmore and that alone. I want his melon to be plastered on this rock from darkness. In this country there is nothing worse than paper straws. Nothing.

They are really the stupid thing we have ever created, and that’s a long list. The Dems make many stupid things-to put it an ever-expanded list-the entire paper straw trend? It was stupid for a long time.

You don’t work. If you go to your second sip, you basically only eat paper. They crumble like cheap tents as soon as they touch liquid. Because … you paper! Of course that happens. Duh.

But because plastic straws are apparently what we will push over the edge, we went to Dumbass paper straws years ago. Only the stupidest trend ever. Every single hippie café in America has it and they are all just as stupid. And Trump ends it next week.

So enjoy it now, hippies. Better start investing in the even stupid metal straws. Do not leave your house without it, otherwise you will kill the earth with your next caramel macchiato from the Starbucks on the street.

You are warned. You have a week to prepare.

Plastic is back, baby! More profit!