How to help children with disabilities in the church

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By Aimee Cobabe, Church News

Flemell and Orion Burgoyne saw first -hand how simple, thoughtful actions others can make a big difference in the church to be an inviting place for their family.

Of their seven children have two disabilities. The five -year -old daughter Marcy has the muscular atrophy of the spine, a genetic disease that makes it difficult to run, especially the stairs. A current act that touched the hearts of the Burgoynes was when the main presidency in her community ensured that Marcy’s class met on the main level of the meeting house to avoid stairs.

“Only this little thoughtful thing was so big,” said Flebell Burgoyne. “It was big for me, it was big for Orion, it was big for Marcy.”

The youngest child of Burgoynes, 4-year-old Rudy, has Rubinstein-Taybi syndrome, a rare genetic disease that has caused both intellectual and development delays.

Orion Burgoyne said he was surprised how often people in the church strive to involve Rudy.

“We always find time and time when beautiful, friendly people say:” You know what, I know how to do this work for Rudy. I know how to do this work for Marcy, “said Orion Burgoyne.” And that was a level of friendliness that we never expected. “

Flemell Burgoyne said that in the past they had experienced judgment, as if Rudy made noise during the sacrament meetings, but in their current community, the center 1. I’ve never been a problem.

“There is a part of me who wonders whether so many parents have taught their children in this station that children with special needs are just as important and beautiful and special,” said Fleilbel Burgoyne. “But I think that’s so important to teach your children, to love everyone.”

communication

According to Katie Edna Steed, who works as a special manager of the priesthood and the family department of the church, about 20% of the world’s population have a disability. This includes invisible disabilities.

According to Steed, one of the best ways to talk to the parents about the individual needs of their children, including questions.

For example, said Steed, a young women of women could simply ask the parents of a young girl with a disability: “What should I know about your daughter?” Or “help me to understand what we can do to experience the church even better.”

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“There are opportunities that we can say that enable you to share freedom to share what you feel comfortable,” she said.

Steed’s own family was blessed by the work of a specialist for the disabled in the community who helps her son with autism. Steed said the specialist asked how the Ward Christmas party could be more pleasant for her son.

“And I said it would be great if only a few people in the station were willing to take five minutes of this party time and talk to him about” Star Wars “, because that is what is important to him,” said Steed .

Sometimes the possibilities of helping someone with disabilities can be obvious, such as installing a ramp or an accessible bath. But Steed said the most important thing to listen to.

“With these more invisible disabilities such as autism … If you take the time to share them with you, it is a very real thing for you,” said Steed.

The church website at disability.churchofjesuschrist.org and the section “Life Help” in the app of the Gospel Library app have helpful guidelines for individuals, parents, leaders, teachers and people who are referred to as disabled specialists. There are also videos and infographics to understand people with invisible disabilities such as fear, ADHD or autism. A 10-part video series entitled “Teaching Strategies for Children with Disabilities” contains strategies to include children with disabilities.

Steed said she saw many examples of parishioners who helped others help accommodation to better attend church worship. She spoke about a young man with cerebral palsy who used a walker and tried to pass the sacrament. A man in the station was a welding and hired the hiker so that the young man could pass the sacrament.

Steed has also seen the ability of the youth in her community to help her son. A young man often sits next to her son and helps him concentrate during the sacrament meeting.

“You are incredible,” she said. “And the things they think about because they are a peer are things that I would probably never have thought of as a mother. But they find out. “

Understanding

Steed acknowledges that disabilities or special needs can be a challenge for many people.

“I know that we live in a fallen world and there will be times that are very difficult,” she said. “So I don’t want to make it sound like this: ‘Well, do it and your station will be perfect.’ There will be times when it will be a growing and challenging time. “

This is something that Abby Carlson from Smithville Lake Ward learned in the Liberty Missouri pile with her child. Her son has what she calls “profound autism”.

For many years she and her husband went to church with her other children to stay at home with her son.

“Having a child with a disability is very insulating,” she wrote in an e -mail. “It is also physical, emotional and spiritually exhausting.”

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Carlson is now working with a handicapped committee in her participation to create sensory rooms in two buildings in their participation, and also found a support group for care and work to educate others in the region.

“Many people want to help them with challenges, but do not know what to do and they don’t want to do anything wrong, so they don’t do anything at all,” said Carlson.

Respect

Colleen and Charlie Fulks have a son with the same Rubinstein-Taybi syndrome in Greenfield 3rd station, Chandler Arizona East Stake. It recently served a mission of the service, which the Fulks had not had an option for him.

“There were only a few sweet things that happened,” said Colleen Fulks. “Although we were in the middle of Covid, there was a blessing and it influenced our family in a really sweet way.”

The FULKs also help with an activity program for special needs in your region. 48 participants with disabilities – many of them have serious disabilities that make it difficult for them to attend youth activities in their own stations. About 90 other young people come to the activities to help as buddies.

The provision of a place for all people, including those with disabilities, is really important for Colleen Fulks.

“We all need that,” she said. “But if you have a disability, it makes it more difficult.”

Charlie Fulks said that they had seen many participants and their youth buddies who developed permanent friendships. So if someone newly follows his group or is called a disabled specialist, they are asking himself to get involved.

“Talk to them, treat them as if they want them there,” he said.

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