Lake Bell’s great relationship with her ex

Hello, it is mercy, editor -in -chief of the parents. Welcome to my two -week column, in which I will have conversations with well -known personalities who share their experiences with this trip called Parenthood.

Grace Bastidas, editor -in -chief

A healthy relationship with an ex requires hard work, especially if children are involved. Just ask the actress’s Lake Bell. You and her ex-husband Scott Campbell carried out a co-parents therapy for two years after they were divorced. “Even if we didn’t want to go and it was annoying or difficult, we still went,” she says to me. “We also did it for the benefit of our children and for ourselves. We are in the life of the other, no matter what happens so that we can annoy each other for all things or do something about it.”

The former couple certainly went through a lot together. Her son Ozzi, 7, almost died at birth after she was born around his neck with his umbilical cord at home. In and with her daughter Nova (11), epilepsy was diagnosed in 2020, in the same year in which they separated. “We went through the trenches together,” says Lake, “and that’s why we have respect for each other, similar to army buddies.”

You and Scott have a strong bond. How do you know as a single mother when you can get your children with someone with whom you can go out with?

Scott and I had parameters nearby, and now we trust each other that they decide when the time is right. But I am generally not in. If I still hang around with someone for five or six months and show them that they will take care of meeting them, then okay. It can also happen earlier if you have your own children. Because if the children despise each other, it cannot go any further. You cannot glue these children together.

Let’s talk about your new children’s book. Everything about brains is a sweet story about neurodiversity. Tell me about it.

The inspiration came from my daughter Nova, who has epilepsy. It is a genetic mutation, so it is part of the wall carpet of who it is. But at first the seizures were a source of great fear for our whole family. It was scary. But when we went through it, we realized – and that sounds clichéd – that it is a supermache. When she describes her from her experience and asked her questions that were honest and direct, I felt worthy of a platform.

Children are so revealing. What did Nova taught you?

If you become a parent you think, I will do it differently. My parents have confused in X, Y and Z, but I will crack the code. But then your children come with you and you will press all wounds you ever had, then you will pour salt into them and squeeze even more so that they are forced to confront their demons, be it as they are losing their temperament or frustrated. Nova is for me with all her sensitivity, magic, shine and uniqueness. She is the one that urges me to expand.

My own children are so different. How do you get with your son?

Ozzi is my healer. It is something spiritual and flows over how he takes life. Probably because he died before he was hypoxic at birth for five minutes. So he doesn’t really sweat the little stuff. He could have a tantrum to want another biscuit, but he quickly gets over it. He and I have interesting philosophical and existential conversations.

What is a lesson that you want to convey to your children?

I somehow loathe this idea of ​​perfection. I think it is unfair to every parent. Perfection is simply not even something you have to search with. I really model that for my children. Have some grace to be imperfect. Show your children your humanity, even if you have problems with something. Let them see that they screw it up, cry, really laugh hard. Simply enter them in your human experience.

One last thought

What a beautiful concept, lake. We live in a world full of filters that only show the highlights of our life. So I am all in favor of showing our children the full breath, who we are – guards and everything – to inspire them to be their authentic self. Everything else sounds exhausting!

See you next time

grace

[email protected]