Devale Ellis reveals the key to his 22-year relationship with wife Khadeen

Devale Ellis says it’s easy to keep the romance alive when you’re still head over heels in love with each other.

While chatting with PEOPLE about his new Netflix holiday romantic comedy, Meet me next ChristmasDevale admits that he and his wife Khadeen Ellis “have a healthy dependency on each other.”

“I make no apologies for needing my wife. I’m not one of those people out here who says, ‘I could do everything on my own,'” he says.

Khadeen is there to keep Devale grounded even when his acting work takes away from him.

“Not a day goes by that we don’t talk to each other, and not a day goes by that we don’t FaceTime,” Devale says. “We must see, speak and talk about the day. We need that.”

Devale, 40, and Khadeen, also 40, first met while studying at Hofstra University in New York. They have been together for 22 years and officially tied the knot in 2010, shortly after his NFL career ended and Devale began to focus more on acting. Together they have four children: Jackson, 13; Cairo, 8; Kaz, 7; and Dakota, 3.

“I have to say that the key to longevity for us is: want. There is no secret. I want to be married. I want to be monogamous. I want to be with Khadeen. This is my person, and Khadeen wants to be with me,” says Devale.

“There is nothing we cannot discuss and work through. It’s that simple,” he adds. “You wake up in the morning and decide to be a better person, for yourself of course, but also to serve them. If you’re a person who likes to be helpful, it’s easy to be in a relationship because you wake up every day with a job.”

Devale and Khadeen’s life together is well documented on their YouTube channel The Ellises and their podcast. Dead ass. But they make sure to just take a look at their family.

“I do this on purpose because I want to share my family and my love,” says Devale. “But I also want things to remain sacred.”

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He adds to PEOPLE: “My wife and I sit down and decide before we publish everything that is banned and what is banned. As long as she and I can project what our lives will look like on the Internet, we’ll have fun with it. Because we just want to show people what a black family looks like in a different light.

Meet me next Christmas is now available on Netflix.