Diving on the ice: What I learned from training with Harrogate for dream Leeds draw | Harrogate town

“PAtrick Bamford! Joel Piroe! “Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink!” are shouted at me as the shots are hurled towards the net, testing my reflexes. Somehow I became the fourth goalkeeper at one of Harrogate Town’s final training sessions before facing league leaders Leeds in the third round of the FA Cup, one of the most important games in the club’s 106-year history.

It’s too cold on this freezing morning for this to be a fever dream. There are still four days left until the Second Division strugglers take on the Premier League wannabes and the pitches at Rothwell Juniors, where Harrogate trains on the outskirts of Leeds, are rock solid and there are makeshift rinks everywhere. The outfield players have seen the conditions and decided it would be better to stay indoors in the warmth and do some strength training while manager Simon Weaver tries to find alternative indoor facilities for the coming days.

Previously the team was assembled for the team meeting, which opened the day in the main room with a few Leeds jerseys. It was a good weekend after Harrogate beat Barrow 2-0 to record their first win in eight games which had included six defeats. Weaver says the gig in Cumbria is “night and day” compared to what had taken place before, but admits they are in a “mess”. As the conversation turns to Elland Road, seven miles away, the message is simple: “You have to be all in.”

Layers and snoods are the order of the day for the goalkeepers as boots crunch through the ice and equipment is carried 100 meters from the main building to the only usable goal area. The goalkeepers are sent on their way to a barrage of jokes from their teammates, but it seems the union would rather enjoy a world of their own in the freshest air.

While elbows are being scraped outside, the strength and conditioning and medical teams are using every possible space for activity. Ropes, weights and boxing gloves are squeezed into a corridor to create organized chaos, while the reception floor becomes a hamstring testing center and electric heaters are housed in every extra spare space.

Our cabal consists of regular goalkeeper James Belshaw, substitute Mark Oxley, scholar Frank Shepherd and coach Phil Priestley. It’s an experienced squad: Belshaw was named player of the season when he helped Bristol Rovers win promotion to League One and Oxley picked up a Scottish Cup winners’ medal from Hibernian. They are preparing for the game of their lives with me, a man who looks like a Gabor Kiraly tribute act and whose only game so far has been between the sticks for the Real Ale Society in the midst of an injury crisis.

I point out that I got home from Wolverhampton at half past midnight and left for Leeds at 7.30am. It’s good to deal with the excuses early on. “You’re better than I expected,” are Belshaw’s words of encouragement during a two-touch drill, the fun before glove work. The pros had been doing “pre-activation” warm-ups to get ready while I had a coffee and thought about why there was a framed Dinamo Bucharest jersey in the clubhouse. I beat Priestley and Shepherd in two-touch, but at some point I lose control. I call this my first win as a professional footballer.

Belshaw is being worked over while young Shepherd, looking confused by a reference to Phoenix Nights, and Oxley warm up their hands with ball drills. When obstacles are placed along the goal line, I’m afraid of what I’m getting myself into. The mission is to jump over cones and dodge mannequins before facing a shot, then produce more “quick” feet before Priestly yells “DIVE!” DIVE! DIVE!” Belshaw throws the ball three times to the right, forcing me to jump up in between.

Priestley’s most important attribute is the ability to hit a ball unspeakably hard to test a goalkeeper’s reflexes and wrist strength. It all looks pretty easy until you stand in the firing line of Priestley’s left foot, hardened by a playing career spent mostly at the semi-professional level. Miraculously, the ball regularly gets stuck in the gloves. There is even a dive storage for the cameras.

The solidarity of the department is clearly visible. There are parades made in training that would get a standing ovation from the crowd, but they won’t be remembered tomorrow. They are mistakes that regularly make headlines for goalkeepers, but hard work will reduce the likelihood of such mistakes.

“It’s a little cliché to say they’re a little bit their own thing and even crazier, but it’s true,” Weaver says. “You’ll be out there with leggings on, but it’s still rock hard. Belshaw supports himself, which can make him one of the better goalkeepers at this level, and he’s an intelligent boy. Then we have Mark Oxley, who has been there and done it and played for Hibernian, a very good option. He’s unbelievable, he’s had to miss most of the games but he has my back and wants the boys to keep going and that’s a rare breed.”

Does Weaver need a third senior goaltender, a Scott Carson vibesman figure, to keep up morale? “Sometimes we are at our wits end and worry that both goalkeepers will get sick overnight on a Friday,” he says. Could I be there?

After an hour of ice diving, I return to the clubhouse in search of warmth. Club secretary Mary Lally sorts the players’ tickets. There are some Leeds fans in the squad, including captain Josh Falkingham, a former Leeds academy player, who has requested 24 for family and friends. They will be among almost 4,000 away players, around 1,000 more than Harrogate’s average attendance.

“It’s a massive game for the football club, not just financially but for us as players: we get to test ourselves against some of the best players in the country,” Belshaw said. “Leeds are playing well and are on track to return to the Premier League. For us it’s a free hit. Hopefully we can put in a performance and possibly cause an upset.”

As with all club secretaries at this level, Lally’s versatility will be tested in the face of such a massive game. What is your next task? “I’m signing a player,” she replies. Could it possibly be? Have I done enough to get a short-term deal? Belshaw gives his assessment. “He didn’t come last in the two-touch, which is a credit to him,” he says. “He showed good handling skills. What he lacks is movement across the goal and footwork.”

Harrogate is the epitome of a family club. Weaver, the country’s longest-serving manager, has been in the dugout for almost 16 years, his father Irving is the owner and the next generation will be mascots at Elland Road. After turning professional in the National League North in 2017, Harrogate quickly gained promotion to League Two in 2020, where they fell relatively short. The money from this cup run reduces the deficit and helps make it sustainable in the long term.

For many Leeds fans, Harrogate is a second club. When Leeds play in the Premier League and have more Saturdays off, attendance at Wetherby Road increases. The Weavers hope this cup tie will help foster a relationship between the clubs that could be mutually beneficial.

“It’s a big moment in the journey we’ve been on,” says Weaver Jr. “You want moments in your career, not an everyday career. This is certainly a huge moment for players and staff to look back on – on this basis there could be a reunion. There are so many games that come and go that may be forgotten; that will be unforgettable. We have to make sure it’s memorable for the right reasons.”

I say goodbye to my new teammates Belly, Ox and Frank the Tank and start mentally preparing for the game. Then it’s announced that Huddersfield defender Eko Solomon is the new signing and I’ll go back to my day job in the stands, insisting that every Belshaw save was inspired by me. Regardless of whether the tie ends in glory or defeat, the goalkeepers will be back at the training ground next week, rain, shine, snow or ice. Unfortunately I won’t do that, but at least I can say that I had exams once.