Friendships cannot survive polarized morals

Friendship is valuable. Many people are looking for friends who will support them through the best and worst times of life. During a heated political season, many people feel like they have no choice but to cut off contact with family and friends. Friendships and relationships break down for countless reasons. Political differences are a valid justification for ending relationships if they lead to a breakdown in respect and shared values.

In a 2021 study, 77.4% of people have unfriended someone on social media because they posted something they disagreed with, and 67.4% have blocked someone at least once. Romantic relationships and family make this even more complicated, as political differences can threaten the trust and foundation of these closer relationships. Distancing yourself or ending a friendship because of political differences is understandable, rational, and important for maintaining personal values ​​and emotional well-being.

Recent partisan split

Polarization in politics has increased, with average opinion reflecting deep moral divisions on human rights issues. Gun rights have turned into gun deaths, immigration issues have turned into mass deportations, and abortion rights have turned into “murder,” even in cases of rape or incest. The polarization has made politics something that goes far beyond “just politics.” Presidential candidates represent highly polarized morals. Voting one way or another reflects agreement with a Ideals of the candidate.

If someone respects basic human rights but disagrees on less critical issues, such as tax policy, friendship is still possible. Voting for a candidate who abuses human rights or undermines democracy shows that you agree with their flawed morals. This makes continued friendship impossible. A vote is a moral statement. It shows a person’s values ​​and their willingness to support or reject justice, equality and integrity.

Dynamics in friendship

Considering relationship dynamics is crucial when it comes to unfriending or breaking up with someone. Romantic relationships present a more complicated challenge because partners often share deeper emotional bonds, values, and long-term goals. Currently only 21% of marriages are politically mixed.

The importance of policy alignment is critical to building and sustaining lasting partnerships. That’s not to say that differing political opinions are always hopeless, but they can create unique stresses that challenge the foundation of the relationship. Political opinions are deeply personal as they often reflect one’s core values, beliefs about society and visions for the future. When two people hold completely different views, tension arises, especially when it comes to issues such as human rights, social justice or economic policy. In romantic relationships, shared values ​​and respect are fundamental, making political disagreements challenging. In these cases, it may be necessary to distance yourself or even end the relationship to protect your emotional well-being and stay true to your own beliefs.

What now?

Ultimately, if a friendship or relationship results in unnecessary and painful conflict due to strong disagreements over deeply held beliefs, there is no point in keeping that person in your life. The relationship is no longer enjoyable. In times like these, surround yourself with people who reinforce and align with your values. Hope thrives in supportive, like-minded communities. When a relationship is characterized by painful conflicts over core beliefs, it’s time to break up.

Parents, families, and even siblings often cut ties when a child comes out as LGBTQ+ due to deeply rooted prejudices. This rejection is not about the loss of joy in the relationship, but about rigid beliefs about identity. Ending a friendship or relationship is more likely to be justified when the issues go beyond personal identity and impact core values.

In theory, whether political opinions should end friendships seems like a simple yes or no question, but the reality is more complicated. Increasing polarization in politics has turned previous policy disagreements into moral battlegrounds and made it more difficult to reconcile differing views. While political disagreements can occur in friendships and romantic relationships, the emotional toll often outweighs any benefits.

Ultimately, it is important to recognize when a relationship no longer brings joy or mutual respect. With deep connections, the stakes are higher as moral alignment becomes essential to a healthy, lasting bond.

Finding joy in difficult times is hard. Even more difficult is having friendships and relationships that bring more turmoil and despair than joy. When your morals and political views are fundamentally opposed, there is no basis for true friendship, only conflict that undermines your values ​​and peace of mind.