Get off my lawn! – The Santa Barbara Independent

Welp, we’ve reached the height of absurdity. Just when I thought the city of Santa Barbara couldn’t be more hostile toward the children and families who make their existence here, the city’s parks and recreation department cracked down on the illegal activities of a retired hobbyist who blows bubbles in front of a mostly toddler audience -Groupies.

Santa Barbara’s motto should officially be changed to “Get Off My Lawn!” I haven’t told anyone in a long time that this is where Get Off My Lawn! The crowd retreats and dies. Too many people here make a pastime of complaining about children having fun in public spaces, and the city is only too happy to oblige.

I shouldn’t be surprised. This is the city that voted – twice! – a guy who called the police because kids were playing basketball on a school field near his house over the weekend. Although he has since moved away, the idea remains that Santa Barbara residents should not endure the noise of children having fun outdoors. It turns out that the Fun Police live here.

Seriously, who relies on such a technicality to shut down a free bubble exhibition involving (I’m clutching my pearls) a few dozen kids and their desperate attempts to get the kids out of the house at a party let. Saturday parents?

The same department that has also attempted to smear historic Latino artwork and murals on the city’s east side after decades of underinvestment in the parks that serve these residents.

The same department that leaves one children’s wading pool unusable for years, drains the others before late summer heat waves, shortens public pool hours in the summer, and charges parents well over $100 for a few hours of basic recreational instruction for children. Who can actually afford that?

The fact that the city had to investigate what soap solution the Bubble Guy used is ridiculous. Did anyone think he was going to unleash RoundUp blimps on the children of Santa Barbara?

Who complains about good, clean fun?!?! Who complains about kids finding a little joy in our public parks?!?! And what kind of bureaucracy gives in to these frivolous complaints with such a draconian response?!

Clearly, “Get Off My Lawn!” The crowd doesn’t understand how few free, safe and fun activities there are for kids in Santa Barbara.

I recently attended a conference hosted by Santa Barbara teen leaders. In despair, they pointed out that they had virtually no affordable, accessible social spaces. Apart from the bowling alley – which, by the way, costs more per minute than a ticket to Disneyland – they have little to do. Karaoke, I was told, is only available in our downtown bars.

Undoubtedly, we have great cultural institutions aimed at younger children and families – the MOXI, the Zoo, the Botanical Garden – but these places are not free. The point is that we overall lack free, comfortable spaces for children of all ages to just be children. And apparently there are limits to the fun in our city parks.

Santa Barbara voters just passed another self-imposed tax increase. Our City Council should prioritize funding for the Parks and Recreation Department to expand free or truly affordable, safe and accessible spaces and activities for all children. Repair our paddling pools. Expand the opening hours of public swimming pools in the summer. Expand our playgrounds to include shade structures. Support programs for children and young people. And stop being the fun police.

And one last request: Please Clean the restrooms in Oak Park.