Grandmother demands her unborn grandson take her last name and threatens to rewrite the family trust to enforce her will » TwistedSifter

A young mother-to-be finds herself caught in a bizarre power struggle with her own mother.

What began as an inheritance of wealth from a grandmother’s trust has evolved into a demand that her unborn son be given his maternal surname – or else.

Now it’s “my name, my money, my rules” and the drama mounts.

Hello reddit, I am 21 years old and expecting my first child with my partner of almost 8 years (20 months). Our son will be born in less than 2 months. In order for this story to make sense, some backstory is required.

My father is not in the picture, so my immediate family consists of me, my mother and my twin. About 3 years ago my maternal grandmother died. I didn’t have a relationship with her and neither did my mother because they fought constantly.

My grandma was quite wealthy and when she died she left me and my twin a total of half a million in a trust fund that we couldn’t access until we were 25. She left my mother nothing.

Grandma let the grandchildren take part in all the inheritance moves with the microphone. Got it.

My mother hired a lawyer and got money paid out of that trust early on the condition that I and my twin each gave her half of our inheritance. If we hadn’t agreed to give her something, she would have gotten NOTHING.

Our mother then convinced us to put all the money into a separate foundation for our family, dedicated solely to education and housing, saying this would create stability for future generations. I used this money to buy a house where me and my partner currently live.

Ever since my mom found out I was pregnant, she has been really pushing us to use her last name (which is currently my last name). It is a traditional Scottish name with a capital letter in the middle and frequent use of the letters “M” and “N”. I don’t like this last name, it’s hard to pronounce just by reading it. I also have every intention of taking my partner’s last name in the future.

I guess the trust wasn’t enough.

Three months ago I told her that we wouldn’t use her last name, just my partner’s last name. This upset her and called me petty and ungrateful.

I apologized for upsetting her and asked if we could talk about it so I could understand why it upset her. I expressed that I love her and don’t want her to be upset. She refused and said it was my child and I could do whatever I wanted. I assumed she had come to terms with it and moved on.

Fast forward to last week.

I received a text message from my mother saying, “By the way, I made changes to the foundation. (Your Last Name) must be your child’s last name if you want them to benefit from the Foundation. I didn’t work so hard for the future to support a (partner’s last name). That’s just how it is. My last name or my bust. I’d rather take the amount and spend it.”

Mom’s new family motto: My name, my money, my rules.

That upset me. I asked her to give me some time and space to think about what she did. She then lashed out at me and said that her hard work would not be in vain (although she herself said it was for future generations like my children).

She wouldn’t even have money to blackmail me if I hadn’t agreed to give her half of my inheritance after her own mother screwed her over.

I haven’t made any contact. But I’m starting to wonder if I’m the asshole for not just using her name to make her happy, to make sure my son gets access to this money. I don’t want him to miss out just because his grandmother has a legitimate job.

So reddit, AITA?

When inheritance drama turns into a baby name standoff, it’s safe to say things have gotten out of hand.

Redditors pull out their popcorn – and their opinions.

This person demands that she not let her mother win.

This person says they need to hire a lawyer.

This person also has some good advice on where to go from here.

Baby names don’t usually come with terms and conditions, but here we are…

If you liked this story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandchild because his parents didn’t want it, but then his parents want to use the money to cover the siblings’ medical costs.