How to Talk About Addiction During the Holidays

December is here, which means the holiday season is in full swing. The holidays are a time of celebration and joy for most families. It’s an opportunity to spend time in great company and enjoy free time in a stress-free environment. However, this experience is not universal for everyone. The holiday season can be incredibly stressful for people recovering from alcohol or drug addiction. This time is also stressful for their friends and family members, who are a large part of the recovery process. The holidays are a trigger for relapse for those in recovery, as returning home for the holidays can mean the return of traumatic memories and trigger many negative feelings between family members.

Addiction changes families, and as family dynamics change, conversations can help prevent relapse and help families and recovering individuals understand the new dynamic and build stronger relationships. Here are a few tips for discussing addiction with your family during the holidays.

Set realistic expectations and know the triggers

It’s important to set realistic expectations for the holidays. Entering recovery does not magically change how you feel about friends and family, or how they feel about you. If negative feelings arose at the height of addiction, these feelings are likely to continue during sobriety. This is especially true if these topics have never been discussed. Family dynamics can be complicated, so no one should assume that the holidays will be free of stress and difficult conversations. If this is the case, that’s great, but set realistic expectations.

It is also important for everyone to understand family dynamics and which family members might trigger someone’s recovery. If someone has a strained relationship with a family member, it is important to create a plan for how to deal with them and when to avoid the interaction. Hard conversations are great, provided both people want to have them.

Talk about boundaries before everyone arrives

It’s difficult to set new boundaries with your family, but setting them is crucial to ensuring your family member in recovery has an environment in which to thrive. Boundaries must be set with friends and family to create an environment of recovery. This means calling friends and family and discussing the boundaries their family members need in recovery. This may mean not drinking around them or avoiding certain triggering conversations. Plan important conversations that everyone agrees on so that no one feels like they are being pandered to. It’s important to discuss boundaries in advance because it gives everyone a chance to process them and gives everyone the opportunity to decline attending holiday gatherings if they can’t respect those boundaries.

Create new family traditions

For many families, holiday traditions include drinking. There may be something to drink at the Christmas party or dinner. Recovery requires creating a safe environment in which your family member can maintain sobriety. Traditions that center drinking could lead to relapse, so family members need to change or start new traditions that don’t involve alcohol. Create holiday traditions that focus on health and connection. Maybe you go on a family hike or use the time instead of having a drink by the fire to make new contacts and have deeper conversations. This will help create a new family dynamic away from alcohol.

Encourage going to meetings

You need to give your recovering family member the opportunity to cope with the holidays in a way that doesn’t affect the entire family. Encourage your family members to attend group meetings even during the holidays. Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous and other support groups are great ways to connect with like-minded people trying to stay sober during a stressful holiday season. Encourage your family member to attend regular meetings when they are in town and to find a local meeting when they go away for the holidays. Most support groups continue to hold virtual and in-person meetings, making access to these meetings easier than ever. FBN

By Roy DuPrez

Arizona residents looking for a Narcotics Anonymous meeting can find one at arizona-na.org. Arizona residents looking for an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting can find one at alcoholicsanonymous.com/aa-meetings/Arizona.

Roy DuPrez, M.Ed., is CEO and founder of Back2Basics Outdoor Adventure Recovery in Flagstaff. DuPrez received his BS and M.Ed. from Northern Arizona University. Back2Basics helps young men ages 18 to 35 recover from drug and alcohol addiction. Back2Basics is an adventurous recovery program for up to six months for young adult men ages 18 to 30 with substance abuse problems who are looking for a positive and meaningful life. In our program, clients are exposed to a combination of wilderness adventures and residential programs on a weekly basis. For more information, visit back2basicsoutdooradventures.com, call 928-814-2220 or email [email protected]