I ask Eric: We help your loved ones find financial freedom through advice and resources

Dear Eric: We love your compassion and kindness toward your authors and have rarely disagreed with your answers. My point is not so much to disagree as to add to your opinion on the letter from “Bad Advice” who asked family members for support and was then reprimanded for not following the family members’ advice. I have a brother and sister-in-law who also needed what they called advice (several times), but in reality it was a pittance.

They were upset when we told them that we would help them after they made wiser decisions, e.g. For example, they would trade in their brand new Porsche for something they could afford, sign their adult children off their cell phone plans, cancel a refundable vacation and use the money to pay for high credit card debt and cut down on Starbucks (twice a day) and eating out at good restaurants four times a week to eat out. They were incredulous (like your author) and thought we were out of line. Then I sent them a book by Dave Ramsey about how to get out of debt. Best “advice” ever. Today, eight years later, they are debt-free and happy!

– Guide

Dear Guide: I love that you gave them the opportunity to make changes in their lives by giving them Dave Ramsey’s financial guide. Sometimes, especially with people close to us, it is easier to follow the advice of a neutral, external voice. It also helps avoid empathy fatigue and resentment.

Dear Eric, I just read your response to No Check-In that her adult children did not call her until the day after Hurricane Helene devastated parts of Georgia. As someone who lives in a fairly disaster-prone state (California), it’s been drilled into us that in the event of a major disaster, it’s best not to use the phone. Since there are so many cell phones in use right now, in the event of a disaster that can take down cell towers, we should save that bandwidth so that people can call for help in real emergencies. While it would be nice to get a call from your kids sooner, they may have done the right thing by waiting a day.

– Understood

Dear All Clear: This is a great insight. It also reminds me of the importance of creating and updating family emergency plans. If we let our loved ones know in advance what we will do in times of crisis and how we will reach out, we can ease fears on all sides.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Keep following him Instagram and subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.