I can fix this – a reminder

The other day our kitchen faucet started leaking. It’s one of those ones that sticks up and curls over the sink. When you pull the nozzle down, it becomes a sprayer with a hose.

Hell, I grew up building houses. I can fix this.

I started grabbing things from the cupboard under the sink. After removing various bottles of cleaning products with unclear intended use and questionable expiration dates, I was able to get to the faucet.

At least that’s what I would have done if I had two extra elbows and a flexible upper body. I was finally able to reach the connection of the flex hose to the water supply line. I had my daughter hand me a flashlight, which I placed upright in the closet next to my head, but my arm blocked my view. Since I had no eyes, I sneaked further in to get a look. Eventually I was able to spot the problem – a small crack in the hose where it extends into the base of the faucet.

To be able to see the connection at the bottom of the countertop between the sink body and the wall, behind the garbage disposal and drain pipes, I landed on one shoulder with my head tilted at an odd angle, resting on a roll of paper towels on my bicep. My other arm reached behind my head, elbow bent one way and wrist another, and my back arched wildly around the vertical rail between the closet doors.

I wrapped some tape around the worst part of the leak with one hand and then tried to free myself from it. In the end I needed my daughter to pull me out by my feet and follow my instructions – a little to the right, sometimes push back an inch, sometimes to the left, sometimes center and pull, etc.

I put a 1 gallon container under the faucet and pour it into the houseplants every third day. I went to the hardware store and bought a fancy new faucet to replace the leaky faucet. However, I think I’ll hire a skinny, flexible plumber with very long wrists to do the installation.