I’m pretty sure this is the last new car you can buy in the US without an LCD screen: cold start

Typically, Cold Start is a place where I unveil absolutely world-changing thoughts and concepts, things that I think a lot of academics take up and build entire careers out of. I mean, I don’t have any actual ones Proof that this is true, but I know I have my suspicions. This time, however, it will be a little different, because today’s cold start will only provide crucial information, information that is absolutely critical to the very specific part of the population that needs it.

This information is as follows: In 2024, the year of the Lord, there appears to be only one new mass-produced car for sale in America that does not have LCD screens. No infotainment screens in the center console, no touchscreens, no controls on a touchscreen interface. What kind of car is this?

A GMC Savana. Okay, it’s a van, not strictly a car, but you get the point.

There are no LCD screens on this dashboard. Just look!

Sure, the radio has a monochrome dot matrix display, it looks like a vacuum fluorescent display, but that’s hardly what we imagine a modern touchscreen like we’ve come to expect on pretty much everything today. This Savana dashboard could be from the late 1990s!

Even the cheapest car you can buy in America right now, the Mitsubishi Mirage, which goes for a still-reasonable $16,695, has a touchscreen in the center console. See:

The Savana begins for almost $50,000, and the dashboard doesn’t have an LCD screen. It’s incredible.

So if you really, sincerely are sick the tyranny of touchscreens, if you can’t stand the thought of perversions like touchscreen-based glove box latches, if you just want nothing to do with this corrupt era of human-car interaction and need a new car now, then you really just have a choice. A GMC Savana.

It’s one of the oldest platforms still being built and sold, but it’s a reliable workhorse and will get you from point A to point along with 11 of your best friends, no matter what letter you fancy! And all without a screen on the dashboard.

Cynically, one could also view the Savana as an embarrassingly outdated and overpriced machine that is still being sold, but that’s no fun at all. Also, if you want to be mad at GMC someThing, you can be mad that they sell crappy license plate frames for $40+:

Who pays $40 for a plastic GMC license plate? For that price, you could probably get a plastic plate with an airbrushed wizard or some sort of warrior princess with an absurdly skimpy armored outfit on it, available at participating state fairs and swap meets.

But still – a dashboard without a large touchscreen! In 2024! It is an overwhelming miracle.