Lynn Jones: Good listeners are hard to find

By Lynn Jones

Bob and Ray were a comedy team whose sketches often revolved around one of them not listening. Your conversation would go like this: Bob: “Hi, I’m Sam Peterson from Omaha.” Ray: “Nice to meet you. What’s your name?” Bob: “I’m Sam Peterson.” Ray: “Oh yeah, where are you from?” Bob: “Originally from Omaha, but moved to Southern California about 10 years ago.” Ray: “Oh, that is “So? How long have you been here in Southern California?” We laugh about it, but sometimes, like Ray, we don’t listen very well when we’re having a conversation with someone are looking for a way to say something, than listening to what the other person is saying.

In the book of the Bible that bears his name, James said that we should be “quick to hear and slow to speak” (James 1:19). When dealing with others, we often reverse this instruction. We are quick to speak and slow to hear.

In 1973, Congress enacted the Endangered Species Act. The aim of this law is to protect all species that are considered endangered. I think we should put a species on the endangered species list. It is the “Listener Americanus”. This species was never particularly numerous and is now extremely endangered.

You can identify this type by looking for the following identifying characteristics: 1) Listen to your problems rather than tell you about their problems. 2) Always seems to have time for you. 3) Has understanding and empathy for your injuries. 4) There is a lack of simple solutions to complex problems. 5) Seems to help you a lot, although you can’t remember much specific advice the person gave you.

You may go several weeks without discovering a Listener Americanus member. Due to the rarity of this species, I would like to enlist your help in conserving this species. In fact, I would like to ask you to consider becoming part of this species.

If you are interested in becoming a better listener, I would suggest the following: 1) Be willing to practice the skills required. It’s not as easy as it sounds. 2) Practice patience. You have to listen to a lot of things that are not interesting in themselves. 3) Cultivate sensitivity. Listen not only to what is said, but also to what is not said. 4) Pray for God’s love. This combats selfishness and self-centeredness that cause us to not want to listen to anyone else. God’s love helps us to put ourselves in another person’s shoes.

The author of Ecclesiastes said that there is “a time for silence and a time for speaking” (Ecclesiastes 3:7). Pray that God will help us to do both.

Lynn Jones is a retired pastor living in Oxford. He provides sermons for churches in his area and often serves as interim pastor. Jones is also an author, having written two books and writing a weekly newspaper column. He can be reached at: [email protected].