Talking to teenagers about social media

In today’s world, social media is an essential part of teenagers’ lives. Whether it’s TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram or YouTube, we’ve probably seen our teenagers sitting in front of their screens consuming all kinds of content. As a parent, it is crucial to understand and navigate this digital landscape with your teen.

The following ideas can serve as a guide to initiate meaningful conversations with your teens about social media use.

Find the right time

Timing is everything when it comes to discussing sensitive topics like social media. Choose moments when your teen is relaxed and more likely to be receptive. Good options could be:

• Car rides: When you drive your child to or from activities and have some alone time together.
• Family Dinner: When everyone is gathered and can join in the conversation.
• Downtime at home: When your teen is not busy with other activities.

Avoid starting these conversations during technology-related conflicts or when time is limited, such as right before a planned activity.

Start with open-ended questions

Start the conversation with questions that invite your teen to share their thoughts and feelings. This helps the conversation not feel like a lecture and instead encourages a two-way dialogue. Here are some examples:

• “I want us to talk about how we use technology and social media in our family. What have you noticed about each family member’s use of social media? Who uses what?”
• “How do you decide who or what to follow on social media? Are you thinking about unfollowing accounts that make you uncomfortable?”
• “When does social media (or a particular platform you’re worried about) become a problem?”

Focus on privacy and security

Talk to your teen about the importance of privacy settings and being careful about sharing personal information online. Ask questions like:

• “Have you checked the privacy settings on your social media accounts? Are you comfortable with them?”
• “What would you do if someone you didn’t know tried to contact you online?”

Educate your teen about the potential risks of social media, such as cyberbullying and online predators, and reassure them that they can come to you with any concerns.

Address the emotional impact

Social media can have both positive and negative effects on mental health. Encourage your teen to think about how this makes them feel:

• “What do you enjoy most about using social media? Are there any disadvantages?”
• “Have you noticed how you feel after spending time on social media? Do you feel better or worse and why?”

This conversation can help your teen become more aware of their emotional reactions and make healthier decisions about social media use.

Transition to discussion of boundaries and guidelines

To maintain a healthy balance, it’s important to set limits on social media use. Work with your teen to create guidelines that all family members can agree on. For example:

• Start by incorporating answers to previous questions: “You did a great job explaining some of the pros and cons of using social media. As your parents, I want us to agree on some healthy boundaries and guidelines for social media use inside and outside the home. Let’s put something on paper that works for both you and me.”
• Create an electronic contract: Write down rules together (see examples below) that fit your family’s style of social media use.

  • Device-free times: Discuss specific times when phones and other devices should be put away, such as: B. at family dinner or before going to bed.
  • Content that can be viewed: Specify shows or types of shows that a teen can watch (do you allow nudity or violence?).
  • People they can contact: Are they allowed to talk to strangers while playing video games or on Snapchat? Or do they have to have a private profile?
  • Consequences of Compliance/Breach of Contract: Emphasize that following a contract or breaching a contract has consequences, just like in the real world. Explain that this is similar to a job that demonstrates personal responsibility.

• Regular check-ins: Schedule times to review and adjust your social media policy agreement. This allows for ongoing dialogue and ensures everyone’s needs are taken into account.

Encourage your teen to provide feedback on how these rules are working for them and be open to adjustments if necessary.

Be a role model

Your behavior sets an example for your teenager. Show them how to use social media responsibly by modeling good habits yourself:

• Limit your own screen time: Be mindful of when and how often you use your devices around your teen.
• Discuss your media use: Share your own experiences and challenges balancing technology and family time.

Encourage problem solving

If your teen is facing challenges on social media, work together to find solutions. Encourage them to think critically about how they handle difficult situations, such as inappropriate content or peer pressure.

• “If you ever see something online that makes you uncomfortable, what can you do about it?”
• “Let’s come up with a plan to manage your time on social media so that it doesn’t interfere with your sleep or school work.”

First steps

Talking to your teen about social media doesn’t have to be daunting. By approaching the topic with empathy, openness and respect, you can guide them to make informed and responsible decisions online. Regular conversations and a willingness to adapt and learn together can help your family navigate the digital world more confidently.

For more in-depth conversation starters and guidance, visit the AAP’s resources page and see more of our work at SSM Health Schlagt Studios.