The rudest things you can do in someone else’s house

The isolation caused by the pandemic has given many of us a new appreciation for simple forms of socializing, such as being together at a friend’s house.

While we may be more casual about going to house parties, potluck dinners, and casual living room gatherings to watch sports on the couch, that doesn’t give people the freedom to behave the way they want around someone else.

We asked etiquette experts to share some common rude behaviors when visiting someone’s home – and advice on how to avoid them.

“When someone says ‘Make yourself at home,’ they don’t usually mean it literally,” said Jodi RR Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. “You should keep your feet off the furniture and not open the refrigerator without asking unless it is a close friend.”

Wait until the host gives you the green light to touch or interact with the things you see. Until that happens, be quick to ask permission when you notice something.

“Ask before touching an object or picking up a book from a shelf,” advises Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert and co-host of the “Were You Raised by Wolves?” podcast.

“Don’t demand a tour of anyone’s house,” Leighton urged. “Wait for your host’s invitation.”

Many people like to give a little tour of their space when inviting others over, but that doesn’t always apply to everyone. And if your host doesn’t offer a tour, don’t take it upon yourself to treat yourself to one.

“Don’t do a tour of the house unless the host encourages you to wander,” said Diane Gottsman, etiquette expert, author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life” and founder of the Protocol School of Texas.

“Know when it’s time to go,” Leighton demanded. “The most common complaint we hear from hosts involves guests overstaying.”

You may still be enjoying your nightcap or feel like everyone is having a great time chatting. However, pay attention to the hosts’ body language and suggest that those who want to continue hanging out move elsewhere.

“If your hosts have changed into their pajamas, that’s probably a good sign that it’s time to go,” Leighton added.

Unfortunately, things happen when you’re in someone else’s house. You might accidentally spill red wine on the carpet or knock over a lamp. Don’t ignore it or try to hide it.

“If you break something or even run out of toilet paper roll, it’s best to let your host know as quickly and quietly as possible,” Smith said.

“Don’t peek in closets and closets,” Smith advised.

Of course, it’s natural to be a little curious, and we’ve seen this exact behavior in countless movies. But resist the urge to look in the bathroom medicine cabinet.

“Be aware that some hosts place glass marbles in their medicine cabinets to catch snoopers in the act,” said Leighton. “The marbles will ring in the bathroom and make a lot of noise that your host and all other guests can hear.”

“Never show up with an unexpected plus one,” Gottsman said.

Sure, you may know that the host enjoys being with your cousin, or you may think everyone will have fun getting to know the new guy you’re meeting. However, that doesn’t mean you can extend an invitation without getting the green light.

Unless you’ve been specifically told you can bring a plus-one (or plus-five), always ask before bringing anyone else to someone’s house. Even if it’s a casual meeting, text the host quickly just to be safe.

“If you’ve been invited to a meal, communicate any dietary restrictions well in advance, not just when you sit down at the table,” Smith noted.

Don’t just expect the meal to be vegan or contain none of your allergens. Inform the host of any restrictions as soon as possible (and stick to the actual restrictions, not your preferences).

As for dietary restrictions, it’s important to remember that the host’s pets may have them, so don’t share your food with others.

“Don’t feed the host’s dog under the table unless you ask your host first,” Gottsman said. “The dog could have an allergy or be on a special diet.”

“Putting on and taking off shoes tends to be very individual,” Smith noted. “Listen to what your host prefers.”

It’s understandable why many people prefer not to bring the dirt and germs of the outside world into their home if possible.

“Be prepared to remove your shoes when asked,” Leighton said. “Throw a pair of socks or slippers in your bag if you don’t like being barefoot and think you might end up in a shoeless household.”

Smith also believes hosts should be prepared for their requests.

“Hosts who choose to leave shoes at the door should also have slippers or socks available for guests,” she said. “Hosts also need to understand if the guest declines. Fashionistas prefer to wear their shoes as part of their ensemble.”

“Don’t change place cards at the dinner table,” Gottsman advised.

People invest time and effort into hosting events like dinner parties. So respect what they organize and don’t try to interfere or make changes.

“As a guest, you should arrive with a small gift for the host,” Smith said.

However, there is no need to be too extravagant or overthink the host’s gift. Get a nice bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers. It’s the thought that counts.