The strangest and most absurd car names in automotive history

Car names are very important – they are meant to evoke certain feelings, be it power and aggression, futuristic or sleek and elegant. There’s a lot of thought put into car names – at least a lot of thought should be given to them. However, the following car models may not have had the same care given to their naming, and it shows.

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We’ve put together a list of car names that most people just don’t like. Not only do these names fail to convey the charisma of the vehicle, but they also make car owners feel extremely uncomfortable or unable to stop laughing. From clumsy references to suggestive images, these car names seem like they’d be more likely to be found scrawled on the counters of a middle school bathroom than at a car dealership. In some cases, the name even led to lost sales. Take a look at these disturbing car names and try to understand them.

It is said that the Ford Probe is partly due to its name. Inspired by Mazda’s technology, this ’90s coupe had impressive handling and performance that still excites some Ford fans today. Unfortunately, the Ford Probe was discontinued due to poor sales – and some believe the name was a big part of the problem.

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Named after a series of Ford-designed concept cars from the ’80s, the name “Probe” was particularly shocking in Europe, with publications immediately comparing it to sex toys and becoming the butt of many jokes in pop culture. Whether the word “probe” sounded overly sexual or like a disturbing alien experiment, the name clearly wasn’t a hit. After just four years, production of the car stopped in Europe. Ford Europe now determines the names through a public panel and lets car enthusiasts vote on names in surveys to avoid further errors.

“The Great Wall Wingle” is another suggestive and uncomfortable name that just doesn’t evoke pleasant thoughts. While cars often have names intended to evoke a feeling of power, excitement, and performance, to some it may not be clear what that name is intended to evoke in you, other than alarm. However, this name is more forgivable than the name Probe, as it is mostly just due to translation issues.

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“Wingle” is an English translation of the Chinese word for “horse”. So in fact this name is no different from the Mustang. Of course, “Wingle” does not convey the same vision of aggression and freedom in most countries, which is why the name was changed. In the UK, the Wingle is called the Great Wall Steed, which makes a lot more sense for a compact, chunky pickup. Unfortunately, the Wingle isn’t for sale in the US, otherwise we’d like to see what name it would get in the States.

Great Wall Motor is apparently just bad at coming up with names – the POER is another truck that’s been cursed with a name that apparently means “Powerful, Off-Road, Pleasant and Reliable.”

This is the definition of a name that doesn’t age well. The name was first used by Studebaker in 1927 as part of its line of models named after government positions: the dictator, the commander and the president. At the time, the Dictator was considered the bottom of the executive ladder, which is why it was moderately priced – and Studebaker stated that it would “dictate the standards” for moderately priced cars.

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Although the car was considered pretty good, the name wasn’t a hit. Studebaker dropped the name in 1938 when dictators began to violently take over Europe. Studebaker never admitted the specific reason, but it seems that this was a fairly safe assumption. Still, a car that made Americans think of Adolf Hitler turned out to be a terrible choice. Although the name was changed to “Director,” it is hard to forget that Studebaker used the term “dictator” during such a volatile time in world history. Studebaker, once a well-known American automobile manufacturer, no longer exists.

The Daihatsu Naked is a kei car that was first introduced at the 1997 Tokyo Motor Show. It’s small and boxy and doesn’t have much power, but fans of the car say it’s extremely fun to drive. It weighs 1,785 pounds and has a fairly plain interior. While it’s definitely seen as playful and curious by countries around the world, what’s the deal with the name?

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There’s no official word from Daihatsu on the brand’s thoughts – do we really want to know what their thoughts are? Most believe the name comes from the simple design, with exposed door hinges and a rough, unfinished appearance. Rumor has it that there is also a Daihatsu Naked Owners Club and a car-inspired Daihatsu: Naked Owners Club. The second group sounds particularly disturbing if you don’t want to join a nudist club that involves driving around boxy cars.

(Featured image by Tennen-Gas via Wikimedia Commons | Cropped and scaled | CC BY-SA 3.0)

If you’re into bathroom humor, the Mazda Titan Dump will make you laugh every time you hear it. That’s not a bad thing, but probably not what Mazda had in mind.

The Mazda Titan Dump is a utility truck that can haul between 1.5 and 4.25 tons depending on the model, so it’s actually pretty serious in terms of performance. Unfortunately, the name didn’t translate well into English. It’s hard not to imagine a nightmarish bowel movement in a public toilet, but a powerful truck. Mazda may have realized this because it eventually changed its name to Isuzu Elf – but does that sound any better? Maybe it’s not that dirty, but it still doesn’t give the impression of a strong and useful truck.

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Currently, the Mazda Titan Dump is still one of the strangest and most unfortunate car names in history.

(Featured image by Mj Bird via Wikimedia Commons | Cropped and scaled | CC BY-SA 3.0)