There is no price for kindness

I’m not someone known for my love of Christmas. In my opinion, too much emphasis is placed on this Things and consumerism.

This year consumerism seems to be on steroids. Walmart offered early holiday gift shopping deals starting October 8th. I remember as a little girl you had to wait until after Thanksgiving for Christmas items to show up on the shelf. This year, most store shelves in my small community had Halloween candy next to Christmas trees. This practice is known as “holiday creep.” And I hate it.

My family accuses me of being stingy, and they’re not wrong. But I also think that the gifts that are most meaningful and bring the most joy cannot be bought. Research shows that when those acts are collective, individual acts of kindness can have a real impact not only on individuals, but also on a global scale. This applies on multiple levels: between individuals, between people and institutions, and between cultures.

Let me give you an example. A few weeks ago, my dear neighbor Babs and her sister-in-law Penny donated two perfect couches to two international graduate students at Western Illinois University who they had never met. Babs was pleased to have the couches removed from her home free of charge, and the students were overjoyed to receive furniture for their sparsely furnished apartments. None of this would have been possible without Penny kindly providing her husband’s pickup truck for transportation. It cost very little gas and brought joy to everyone involved.

Random acts of kindness don’t have to be grand gestures. From expressing gratitude to surprising you with a cup of hot chocolate on a cold day, people tend to underestimate how positively others respond to their random acts of kindness.

A memory from long ago that still brings me joy is when the Stegall family, along with some of their musically talented friends, stopped by our house to sing Christmas carols to our family. Just the thought of this gift puts a smile on my face.

But even though we know that connecting with others and being kind to others is good for your health, the world is experiencing an epidemic of loneliness that has only been made worse by the COVID-19 pandemic. Research has shown that those who are fully committed to their actions experience a reduction in both anxiety and depression.

There are three things we can all do to make small acts of kindness have a particularly positive impact on happiness. First, do something outside of your normal routine – like drive your neighbor to a doctor’s appointment. This has a greater impact on your happiness than routine actions, such as helping your spouse do the dishes.

Second, change the kindness. For example, one day you might want to help a coworker get his work done, and another day you might want to spend time helping your niece learn to play soccer. Variety is key.

Third, happiness is increased when you receive positive feedback on the kind act you perform. Knowing how you helped someone or receiving gratitude and recognition for your action reinforces your positive feelings. So move forward this season with kindness.

As Ira Glass, one of my favorite NPR voices, once said, “We live in a world where joy, empathy, and pleasure are all around us, there to be noticed.”

Heather McIlvaine-Newsad is a professor of anthropology at Western Illinois University. Her research focus is on collective action for sustainability.

The opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the University or Tri States Public Radio.

Different viewpoints are welcome and encouraged.