What This Mortality Book Can Teach Us About Living a Healthy, Fulfilling Life and Focusing on Things That “Really Matter” – NBC10 Philadelphia

Life is full of limitations – there are only 24 hours in a day, around 365 days in a year and there is a limit to the number of years we live. But that shouldn’t stop you from pursuing what you want in life, says writer Oliver Burkeman.

Burkeman, a former journalist and time management researcher, publishes a twice-monthly newsletter about “productivity, mortality, the power of boundaries, and building a meaningful life.” He is also the author of the New York Times self-help book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals.

In his most recent book, Meditations for Mortals, he explores how we can accept our limitations in life and use them to our advantage.

The list of things we want to do in this life is probably longer than the list of what we can actually accomplish, he explains, and we will “always be vulnerable to unforeseen disasters or distressing feelings.” Those are the limits of the humanity.

But “When you give up the unwinnable battle of doing everything, you can focus your limited time and attention on a handful of things that really matter,” he writes.

Here are four key takeaways from his book about accepting limitations and making the most of the time you have.

How to accept limitations and focus on what is actually possible

1. You can face the consequences if you do something or not

This may be hard to hear, but in any situation there will always be consequences, Burkeman writes: “It is in the nature of finitude that every choice carries some consequence, for at any given moment one can only choose one path, and must deal with the consequences of not choosing one of the others.”

Even making a decision you’re excited about – like accepting a job offer – means you have to turn down other interesting offers or give up a role you love.

Burkeman doesn’t remind you to make you feel bad; He encourages you to view this truth as a source of freedom. For people who are afraid of making decisions, life-changing or not, knowing that every decision has consequences gives them the freedom to choose the best option for themselves.

It’s “not about freedom from limitations, which unfortunately we never experience, but about freedom.” In Limitation,” writes Burkeman. “Freedom to explore the compromises.”

2. Make friends with what scares you

Avoiding what you fear can feel like the safest option, but Burkeman suggests trying a different approach: making friends with your fear.

Let’s say you’re worried about your spending and therefore avoid checking your bank account, or you feel pain and are afraid to go to the doctor: “The only way to do something about it is to face the situation. he says.

In such cases, it’s best to follow the advice of a Zen monk named Paul Loomans and make friends with what scares you, which Burkeman references in his book.

“It might mean finding the least intimidating way to go about it, or asking someone else for help,” Burkeman says. “All you are looking for is to find a way to get there, psychologically speaking: to accept, on an emotional level, that the situation in question is already part of your reality.”

3. Do things “daily”

Taking small steps toward a larger goal every day is great practice, but don’t get too caught up in trying to succeed every day, warns Burkeman.

Try to stick to the “daily” plan, which is “a much more robust rule” and doesn’t mean missing a day will cause you to go off the rails.

“Deep down, you know that doing something twice a week doesn’t count as daily, but doing it five times a week does,” says Burkeman. “During peak times, three or four times a week might count. So they’re still putting pressure on themselves.”

If you only focus on getting something done every day without any missteps, you’re striving for perfection, which is neither sustainable nor enjoyable. “It’s not about spending your life serving rules. The point is that the rules serve life,” writes Burkeman.

4. Set quantity goals

When it comes to goal setting, Burkeman says sometimes quantity is more important than quality. When you set a quantity goal, you’re focusing more on the frequency with which you work toward a goal rather than the quality of your production.

If you’re writing a book, a quantity goal can look like freewriting for 10 minutes without stopping until your timer goes off, says Burkeman. Even if you write slowly, that’s fine as long as you use the full 10 minutes.

Focusing on quantity relieves pressure on quality, he adds. If you’re worried about whether what you’re going to create is good or not, you can sometimes avoid working on the project altogether.

“A quantity goal puts you in control,” says Burkeman. “Instead of hope When you produce something good, you learn that you will produce something good something.”

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